Thursday, March 9, 2017

It's Clearer Up Here


Aerial View

We saw you, when the earth shook you loose,
Build a ladder from your backbones
To climb back up, day after day

We saw you in the bitter frost & the cold,
Circle your hearts
Passing an ember from hand to hand
Until you glowed from within once again

We saw you in the night, silent and shattered
Staring into the darkness
Until the path was awash in your light
So while you stumbled, you never fell.

We saw you in the brush strokes & tears,
Create something new from what was past
Until the old and dusty gallery
Sang with your colors

We saw you in the sun tipped mist of morning,
Breathe deeply as life was rekindled
In the eyes of a boy and the smile of a girl

We see you, in the drought and the deluge
Keeping your vigil
Candle flames holding steady, staying true

We see you, your footprints in the valley
Your broken nails in the mountainside
Your words ever weaving a guide rope
For those to come

We see you, laughter and cornerstones your legacy
Hundreds bearing witness to the work of your hands.
The beat of your hearts giving us the air.

We see you.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Recovery


Will
The open wound of you still gapes within my heart
Jagged edges I can’t sew together with nothing but whispers
I mock my own pain in the mirror, dancing with myself
Tipping my hat to the shadow that lingers on my bed

You spin a brilliant light in their wide-open, empty eyes
Throwing out line after line of silver tongued memories
Until they dance around you like crazed marionettes
Kindred on the surface imprinted with your same manic song

But I know the secret of every rotted bough in your waters
The dank and dark where you live split right down the middle
Laughter and tears all together, streaming from your mouth’s web
You take a bow for the cheering crowd snapping photos in your head

I was there in your blackness watching you stumble against walls
Screaming the blame back into everyone else, always someone else
I carved a flashlight from my own chest, my own beating chambers
Not realizing then, I’d come to miss the weight of my own worth

We were covered in our blood and yet it wasn’t enough to save us
Transfusions were needed but our veins couldn’t take the invasion
At least, you didn’t believe they could, so you opted not to bother
Better to stay beneath the bandage, tidy and managed for now

I opted to find healing, a full surgical assault on my busted soul
My axiom, my genesis long since forgotten, coming back in drops
Salty and sweet on my tongue, this remembering, rediscovering
I stand now, still with this wound of you, but standing all the same

Time will, slowly and gently, see you ended with delicate stitches
I will sleep with both eyes closed and breathe deeply of peace
I will dance again with someone new or stay a partner to myself
I will rise and sing and layer by layer, I will recover all of me. I will.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Light in the Tunnel


Hope

It’s tight in here, where my breath is labored and shallow
I’m pounding my heels against a bloodied trap door
All the while, out in the open, holding fresh flowers
For all to see and admire, stopping to tell me
I hope you’re doing well, you look like you are

It’s so hot in here, where my head is under water
Running up hill, endlessly, even as I fall clumsily down
Yet I welcome everyone into my hot air balloon
Soaring over the city and saying breathlessly
How lovely it is for you, up here in the freedom and fresh air

It’s crowded in here, where all my thoughts throw knives
So many brutal edges and conversations, I can’t get a word in
But still, I gather the gawkers and seekers into a circle
Passing the oils and sage around, each saying softly
Isn’t this peace delicious, better than romance and wine

It’s impossible in here, where opportunity seems dead
Doors welded shut by rust from decades of doubt
And yet, screaming, I cast out a spider’s line of silk
Barely daring to believe that out there, one day, it will be better
Better even than flowers and romance and peace

Friday, October 16, 2015

Loss

Hope for the Left Behind

I felt something leave me today
Taking the wind from my sails
Stealing the breath from my throat
My heart wept with every beat in my chest
Because I knew, it was you

I felt the ground tilt wildly under my feet
And I fell through the blackest pain
Right off the face of the earth
My hands reached out for something to hold
Hoping against hope to find you

I came to on the underside of empty
Alone in the smoke and the ash
Darkness and shadow danced
I cried out, my voice a strangled song
But a melody still, meant for you

I heard a voice in the midst of this night
Very distant and faint in the dark
Calling me back from the abyss
It was a voice I knew so I followed it home
Knowing it would lead me to you

I found you once more in the daylight
In memories and laughter and song
In the love of those that knew you
We joined hands and brought you in closer
Knowing the light in our hearts was from you

I felt someone near me today
A hand barely resting on my shoulder
A laugh, so soft, in my ear
My heart was a hummingbird for a moment or two
Because I knew, it was you

Friday, April 24, 2015

There's Darkness In Us All

Humpty Dumpty

It took 30 minutes of screaming to tear us apart
It will take days of silence to put us back together
Egg shell fragile, from the wall I fell
Slipping my hand into your back pocket

For safety, no, but to make sure you fell as well
On and on you go, finally landing on my fists
Collapsing into nothing more
Than the smears of paint God created you with

I’ll dip my fingertips in your colors
And dance them across the wallpaper
Like a spoiled child with forbidden crayons
In Grandmother’s perfect parlor

Acquiesce, sounds like singing under water
Like bubbles of fizzing laughter in your throat
But it’s a begrudged white banner, giving in, giving up
Turning our backs to find solace in ourselves

Through narrowed eyes I watch your apology
Unfolding your origami words with care
Your hands outstretched to catch us
When the thinning ice finally breaks

We breathe together, a sigh of relief
Embracing one another, safe again it seems
You turn away, satisfied, at peace with this moment
I turn away, unforgiving, heel crushing the paper crane you left behind 

Friday, January 30, 2015

Choose

It’s Time

My favorite part is leaving
Not knowing, but believing
There’s something better than this

I want to feel the breath intake
To surge upward with the earthquake
Until I am all that is left to be left

It’s the burn of fear I will shun
Raising a toast to the blessed undone
Dance a little higher now child

A sweep of white, a twist of fate
She sleeps so deeply awash in grace
Wipe the blood drops from your pillow

Take a chance on hope tipped wings
Throat wide open, stop to sing
Chase that chance into change

You are too late never, she said
Life shines bright where your feet tread
There’s something better than this

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Well Below the Surface



In Heart

 It’s not blood, but something else that grafts you in
Something not so deep, yet so deep it defies veins
With missteps and misunderstandings and tears
We carved out a path with words and prayers
With perfect rhythm and revelation and laughter
We walk it now, so familiar we can be blindfolded
We were whole in our circle of DNA, yet somehow
With you, we see we were missing chromosomes all along
Know that we couldn’t do this without you, wouldn’t want to
There are pages in this story only you can write and sing
Know that we need you in this; no one else can do it
The most beautiful melodies are better with harmony
There are pauses and spaces and quiet moments
This is where your heart beats to keep ours alive
You chose us, we are blessed, we are grateful
With one you get all, that is the nature of clan
Never in law, but in heart is where you live, you breathe
Thank you.