Grab Hold With All Your Might

Now
 

The time has come

It's in the layers

It's in the layers

It's in the layers

In the scents and colors both perfect and onion 

It's in the bitterness and the warmth of a blanket sewn so perfectly for the weight of my skin

It's the rubbed in shine, sunlight glinting

Oh the elbow grease it took to light up this life

This one chance we have to make something that matters

Let me forget myself so that others might realize themselves

I have within me a power that will crack the center of the earth with my whisper of say so

I will reign in my whisper so that I can caress the softest skin with truth

The toughest skin and scar tissue with hope

I will control the fire in these first hours 

With wisdom and understanding

Knowing that this blaze will produce a diamond that will alight on the finger of humanity

Making us all richer for the realization 

That we are together, intertwined and one, even in our vast differences

I am undone by the tapestry of our future

Let us grasp our destinies, our supposed to be, our this is what I was born for

For such a time as this, we have been called and set apart

Part the sea with your staff, never look back and never apologize

The time has come

It's Clearer Up Here

Aerial View

We saw you, when the earth shook you loose,
Build a ladder from your backbones
To climb back up, day after day

We saw you in the bitter frost & the cold,
Circle your hearts
Passing an ember from hand to hand
Until you glowed from within once again

We saw you in the night, silent and shattered
Staring into the darkness

Until the path was awash in your light
So while you stumbled, you never fell.

We saw you in the brush strokes & tears,
Create something new from what was past
Until the old and dusty gallery

Sang with your colors

We saw you in the sun tipped mist of morning,
Breathe deeply as life was rekindled
In the eyes of a boy and the smile of a girl

We see you, in the drought and the deluge

Keeping your vigil

Candle flames holding steady, staying true

We see you, your footprints in the valley

Your broken nails in the mountainside

Your words ever weaving a guide rope

For those to come

We see you, laughter and cornerstones your legacy
Hundreds bearing witness to the work of your hands.

The beat of your hearts giving us the air.

We see you.

Recovery

Will

The open wound of you still gapes within my heart

Jagged edges I can’t sew together with nothing but whispers

I mock my own pain in the mirror, dancing with myself

Tipping my hat to the shadow that lingers on my bed

You spin a brilliant light in their wide-open, empty eyes

Throwing out line after line of silver tongued memories

Until they dance around you like crazed marionettes

Kindred on the surface imprinted with your same manic song

But I know the secret of every rotted bough in your waters

The dank and dark where you live split right down the middle

Laughter and tears all together, streaming from your mouth’s web

You take a bow for the cheering crowd snapping photos in your head

I was there in your blackness watching you stumble against walls

Screaming the blame back into everyone else, always someone else

I carved a flashlight from my own chest, my own beating chambers

Not realizing then, I’d come to miss the weight of my own worth

We were covered in our blood and yet it wasn’t enough to save us

Transfusions were needed but our veins couldn’t take the invasion

At least, you didn’t believe they could, so you opted not to bother

Better to stay beneath the bandage, tidy and managed for now

I opted to find healing, a full surgical assault on my busted soul

My axiom, my genesis long since forgotten, coming back in drops

Salty and sweet on my tongue, this remembering, rediscovering

I stand now, still with this wound of you, but standing all the same

Time will, slowly and gently, see you ended with delicate stitches

I will sleep with both eyes closed and breathe deeply of peace

I will dance again with someone new or stay a partner to myself

I will rise and sing and layer by layer, I will recover all of me. I will.

Light in the Tunnel

Hope

It’s tight in here, where my breath is labored and shallow

I’m pounding my heels against a bloodied trap door

All the while, out in the open, holding fresh flowers

For all to see and admire, stopping to tell me

I hope you’re doing well, you look like you are

It’s so hot in here, where my head is under water

Running up hill, endlessly, even as I fall clumsily down

Yet I welcome everyone into my hot air balloon

Soaring over the city and saying breathlessly

How lovely it is for you, up here in the freedom and fresh air

It’s crowded in here, where all my thoughts throw knives

So many brutal edges and conversations, I can’t get a word in

But still, I gather the gawkers and seekers into a circle

Passing the oils and sage around, each saying softly

Isn’t this peace delicious, better than romance and wine

It’s impossible in here, where opportunity seems dead

Doors welded shut by rust from decades of doubt

And yet, screaming, I cast out a spider’s line of silk

Barely daring to believe that out there, one day, it will be better

Better even than flowers and romance and peace

Loss

Hope for the Left Behind

I felt something leave me today
Taking the wind from my sails
Stealing the breath from my throat
My heart wept with every beat in my chest
Because I knew, it was you

I felt the ground tilt wildly under my feet
And I fell through the blackest pain
Right off the face of the earth
My hands reached out for something to hold
Hoping against hope to find you

I came to on the underside of empty
Alone in the smoke and the ash
Darkness and shadow danced
I cried out, my voice a strangled song
But a melody still, meant for you

I heard a voice in the midst of this night
Very distant and faint in the dark
Calling me back from the abyss
It was a voice I knew so I followed it home
Knowing it would lead me to you

I found you once more in the daylight
In memories and laughter and song
In the love of those that knew you
We joined hands and brought you in closer
Knowing the light in our hearts was from you

I felt someone near me today
A hand barely resting on my shoulder
A laugh, so soft, in my ear
My heart was a hummingbird for a moment or two
Because I knew, it was you

There's Darkness In Us All

Humpty Dumpty

It took 30 minutes of screaming to tear us apart

It will take days of silence to put us back together

Egg shell fragile, from the wall I fell

Slipping my hand into your back pocket

For safety, no, but to make sure you fell as well

On and on you go, finally landing on my fists

Collapsing into nothing more

Than the smears of paint God created you with

I’ll dip my fingertips in your colors

And dance them across the wallpaper

Like a spoiled child with forbidden crayons

In Grandmother’s perfect parlor

Acquiesce, sounds like singing under water

Like bubbles of fizzing laughter in your throat

But it’s a begrudged white banner, giving in, giving up

Turning our backs to find solace in ourselves

Through narrowed eyes I watch your apology

Unfolding your origami words with care

Your hands outstretched to catch us

When the thinning ice finally breaks

We breathe together, a sigh of relief

Embracing one another, safe again it seems

You turn away, satisfied, at peace with this moment

I turn away, unforgiving, heel crushing the paper crane you left behind 

Choose

It’s Time

My favorite part is leaving

Not knowing, but believing

There’s something better than this

I want to feel the breath intake

To surge upward with the earthquake

Until I am all that is left to be left

It’s the burn of fear I will shun

Raising a toast to the blessed undone

Dance a little higher now child

A sweep of white, a twist of fate

She sleeps so deeply awash in grace

Wipe the blood drops from your pillow

Take a chance on hope tipped wings

Throat wide open, stop to sing

Chase that chance into change

You are too late never, she said

Life shines bright where your feet tread
There’s something better than this