Loss

Hope for the Left Behind

I felt something leave me today
Taking the wind from my sails
Stealing the breath from my throat
My heart wept with every beat in my chest
Because I knew, it was you

I felt the ground tilt wildly under my feet
And I fell through the blackest pain
Right off the face of the earth
My hands reached out for something to hold
Hoping against hope to find you

I came to on the underside of empty
Alone in the smoke and the ash
Darkness and shadow danced
I cried out, my voice a strangled song
But a melody still, meant for you

I heard a voice in the midst of this night
Very distant and faint in the dark
Calling me back from the abyss
It was a voice I knew so I followed it home
Knowing it would lead me to you

I found you once more in the daylight
In memories and laughter and song
In the love of those that knew you
We joined hands and brought you in closer
Knowing the light in our hearts was from you

I felt someone near me today
A hand barely resting on my shoulder
A laugh, so soft, in my ear
My heart was a hummingbird for a moment or two
Because I knew, it was you

There's Darkness In Us All

Humpty Dumpty

It took 30 minutes of screaming to tear us apart

It will take days of silence to put us back together

Egg shell fragile, from the wall I fell

Slipping my hand into your back pocket

For safety, no, but to make sure you fell as well

On and on you go, finally landing on my fists

Collapsing into nothing more

Than the smears of paint God created you with

I’ll dip my fingertips in your colors

And dance them across the wallpaper

Like a spoiled child with forbidden crayons

In Grandmother’s perfect parlor

Acquiesce, sounds like singing under water

Like bubbles of fizzing laughter in your throat

But it’s a begrudged white banner, giving in, giving up

Turning our backs to find solace in ourselves

Through narrowed eyes I watch your apology

Unfolding your origami words with care

Your hands outstretched to catch us

When the thinning ice finally breaks

We breathe together, a sigh of relief

Embracing one another, safe again it seems

You turn away, satisfied, at peace with this moment

I turn away, unforgiving, heel crushing the paper crane you left behind 

Choose

It’s Time

My favorite part is leaving

Not knowing, but believing

There’s something better than this

I want to feel the breath intake

To surge upward with the earthquake

Until I am all that is left to be left

It’s the burn of fear I will shun

Raising a toast to the blessed undone

Dance a little higher now child

A sweep of white, a twist of fate

She sleeps so deeply awash in grace

Wipe the blood drops from your pillow

Take a chance on hope tipped wings

Throat wide open, stop to sing

Chase that chance into change

You are too late never, she said

Life shines bright where your feet tread
There’s something better than this