Wednesday, January 4, 2012

This Too Shall Pass...

Inside Out

I awoke this morning, heart weighed down, a lead balloon
Muscles strangely tensed and sore, strange as I haven’t moved
My mind trembles at the thought of action, even the thought
Breathing is easier cocooned within myself, safe for now

There’s bitter frost on my floor and my feet can’t bear it
I draw them back again, protected, undercover and exposed to nothing
My eyes feel heavy with the need to see a new canvas, brightly lit
My soul cries out for a spark of hunger, a burst of life, unfurled

It’s quiet in here, even when I pretend to sing a make believe song
I hold a small flame that turns my tears into prisms, but the colors are missing
The dark fades briefly and I hope, I hope, for just a moment
But sustaining it abrades the palms of my heart until they’re bruised and raw

My flesh loses track of time but my spirit records each splintered second
I ask again and again and again, now? Is it time now? Let it be now
The silent reply echoes off my walls until my ears ring and I’m deaf with the sound
If I squint I can see a glint of gold, but it’s too far away, and I’m cold with the trying

I sometimes choose the water, covering my head like a blanket, smothering
There’s a strange comfort in the sound of my muffled heartbeat, it’s all I have
A peculiar warmth like the heady rush of red wine, spreading, making no sense
But a hand breaks through this false reverie, shattering, grasping, saving

I am lifted up along the lines of pain, to the end of myself, broken by wholeness
Soaring over my used to be, my feet touch down on solid ground flowing like a river
I raise my face to the caress of an unseen breeze, the color of blood and scented with love
I weep again, dissolving the night and pulling back the veil; I am my Beloved’s. He is mine.


  1. Ouch and amen. Acquainted with grief. This one hurts a lot. Love you!!!

  2. Once again...UGH. I'm at home inside your words. Its familiar pain, and educated hope. I want it to be what I'm going through, and MY salvation that appears from no place. YOU ARE AMAZING.