Life in Consonants & Vowels

The Novel

I found some letters this morning, so I strung them together on a piece of string

So you could see what I mean when I say all the things that pool on my tongue

The string starts at my heart and ends at yours, connecting and binding

If we walk this way and that, very gently, we won’t be torn, we won’t bleed

I found my words this afternoon, so I wrapped them up in a piece of silk

So you would feel how I feel when the earth goes gray and my eyes fill with you

The silk billows around us like a sailor’s map, charting our course, our steps

If we dance slowly to our spoken music, we’ll find our way, we’ll rest our heads

I found your poem this evening, so I lifted the lines and arranged a bouquet

So you could inhale the fragrance of what two people can be when they remain

The handwritten flowers perfumed our hair and softened the prints of our fingers

If we breathe each touch like an unplanned journey, we’ll smile because we know

I found our book tonight, covered in moonlight and memories, pressed open

So we could read without effort, running our fingertips down the pages

The chapters we’ve lived fill our mouths, our hands holding our bones together

If we are careful to keep all that there is, the treasure will be found by the rest

Beyond the Pale, There Be Dragons

Savior

You cut the strings wrapped round our hands

And taught us a new dance, light in our steps

You chased away the marionette masters

‘Til they cowered in dark corners, gnashing their teeth

But we were afraid we would fall from our pretty painted shelves

So we bound our hair round our wrists, lifted our slackened arms

And stood still

You called down a cedar branch to pull us from quicksand

Renewing our minds so our feet remembered the firm feel of earth

You burned the marauders’ shovels and their watery solutions

So they were left with nothing to dig their next deception

But we were uncertain of the solid foundation under our walk

So we used our past to make our own liquid grave, eased ourselves in

And slowly sank

You sang over us as we crouched in our fetid darkness

Lighting us up with the truth of our purity, our righteousness

You cast out the bitter voice of the deadly harbingers

‘Til they clawed at their throats and choked on their breath

But we recoiled from this new sun shining through us

So we ran to the comfort of cold shadows, closed our eyes

And went blind

You thwarted every foe with song and branch and dance

You scattered our enemies to the outer edges of existence

You wept at our brokenness and bound our ugly wounds

You spoke us into life and loved us into freedom

You swam us through waters and flew us over skies

You won every battle teaching us the heartbeat of peace

And still we fought you

When will we open our eyes and hear your voice

Climb from the mire to be washed by your embrace

Unfurl our long freed wings and fly swiftly to you

When will we stop being the reason we can’t stand

When will we see that you have done it all

And it is all ours for the taking, if only, if only

We would.

Sometimes it Fades Away...

I think most of us, at one time or another, have felt this way. It is a unique kind of pain...excruciating in its bitter sweetness.

Éponine

I held the string of your colored balloon,

So you could dance with someone else

She was a willow tree with flowered hair,

Soft leaves falling gently at her feet

I was shrubbery, lingering in the shadows

Keeping watch over your colored balloon

I held the weight of your bundle of roses

So you could write the perfect verse of love

You asked me for words to paint her eyes, the waltz of her step

I placed in my palm what I had to give, hoping you didn’t see

Dirt rimmed nails and fingerprints stained with blood

Protectively wrapped around your bundle of roses

I held your hand and collected your broken tears

So you could wonder where it all went wrong

She spoke and you spoke, bitter lightning in a field

Angry footsteps led you away, tearing open your sky

Through my shattered breath I sang to you of what once was

Love that still could be, my heart drowning in your broken tears

I held my breath, my hand on my throat, on that final day

So you could walk down the aisle, to await another

The air filled with perfume as petals floated on the breeze

Soft tears from eyes carried murmurs of a love meant to be

She was your ever after, you were her once upon a time

I was a prayer that my heart wouldn’t fail, on that final day

I held my smile as you drew me in close, my world fading to black

You whispered, “Thank you dear friend”, and forever walked away   

She was your white ballet moon, her dance reflected in your eyes

You were her crystal ball knight, her shield in a gray satin waist coat

She was froth and wisps of silks; you were tall and drunk with love

I was the fool with a kiss on my forehead, slowly fading to black 

A Heart Full of Beauty

This is for my ethereal niece, Lizzy (Elizabeth Noel Miller). She is an amazing little girl!!! I love you Lizzy!!!

Noel

She’s beautiful, draped in ribbons of light

She knows where to find silver secrets

Her blue eyes have seen magic in the night

She knows the whole story and believes it

She cartwheels through the summer sun

She pirouettes on violet moonbeams

Her dance has only just begun

Her music written on a heart’s dream

She’s precious, like a shimmering unknown

Yet every angel knows her name

We may never see what she’s been shown

But she’ll share it all the same

She alights like a dream on the edge of the wind

And laughs from within and without

Intertwined with light that never will dim

Her destiny sings, a whispering shout

She offers all that shines within her

To the ones she knows and loves

Hold her hand and feel your heart stir

Be swept away by a winter dove

 

Once Upon A Time...

The Aisle

There is a path in a winding wood

Where the silver Alders stand guard

There is a clearing in that wood

Follow me, it isn’t very far

There is a lane through the countryside

Where the flowers bloom and dance

There is a field through that countryside

Take my hand; we’ll leave nothing to chance

There is a road up a mountain high

Where the wild fern’s secrets unfold

There is a meadow up that mountain high

Take my heart to have, to hold

There is a bridge ‘cross a river fair

Where the stones lie still as the water laughs

There is a house ‘cross that river fair

Take my life, it’s yours to have

There is a dream beyond this veil

Where our dance begins on the point of a star

There is an embrace beyond that veil

Follow me, it isn’t very far

Parachute Required

Free Fall

I’m undone by loss tonight

I’ve been forced back to earth

I wonder if you’d even care

To hear what it was worth

To be held, dangled by a thread

Passed through sun filled clouds

To be swayed softly through the music

And have my own heart sung out loud

We were far flung candlelight

Roses, wine and autumn leaves

Well read books, fingers intertwined

I was hope, you were chivalry

Now it’s just ache glossed memories

Whispers and secrets broken

All that’s left are my pocket wishes

What I believed, but was never spoken

But time, like the wandering tides

Will dance on through the ebb & flow

I’ll see behind me less and less

But for now my scars still show

So I’m undone by pain tonight

Bitter gravity pressing me to earth

I know one day I’ll cease to care

I’ll breathe, laugh and know my own worth

Love is a Dance

Dragonfly Waltz

You dance through me

Wisps of smoke and fractured light

You bruise my memories

A floating embrace

And hands held too tight

Why are our steps so out of time?

I thought I saw you from the corner of my eye

When did our heartbeats lose their rhyme?

I’m lost on the trail you’ve left behind

You come so close

My scarred fingertips brush your breath

This is the song we chose

Every note you sing I breathe

But it feels like death

I open my heart clenched fists

To pull you close and let you go

My love drunk tears settle on the mist

For I still hold your wings

I wonder if you even know

Why are our steps so out of time?

I thought I saw you from the corner of my eye

When did our heartbeats lose their rhyme?

I’m lost on the trail you’ve left behind

The View From Allenham

I've noticed recently that my writing has been rhyming a bit more than usual, actually a lot more.  I've been listening to a great deal of progressive folk & bluegrass lately, perhaps therein lies the reason.


Willoughby

Do you remember that day,
That day I finally understood forever?
Do you remember how my hands,
How my hands framed your face like a picture?

I remember; I do nothing but remember

Do you remember that night,
That night I sang to you, and we danced for hours?
Do you remember all the words,
The words we felt, scattered easily like flowers?

I remember; I do nothing but remember

I remember your hands and your smile
Your laugh and your voice
I remember your kiss and your touch
Your promised love and your choice

I remember; I do nothing but remember
Remembering is all I do

Because I have to ask...

I wrote this poem a few months ago during one of those times we all experience where we keep asking "Why?" or some variation, and hear no response.

Question

Why is it that…?

Asked so many times

My teeth stick on the “is”

And my lips get bored, waiting

Why is it that…?

No answer sent back

Confusion settles down

To hold my hand, tightly

Why is it that…?

Curiosity might kill me

But apathy won’t let me live

Putting me to sleep, gently

Why is it that…?

Ring the clarity bell

And stop the mental clanging

So peace can breathe, deeply

Why is it that…?

Never stop asking

Seeking the true answer

Clearing the murky vision, finally

With Love For Someone

I wrote this piece for a spirit coming back to life.

Awakening

For you, life has settled, the manor unkempt

Days of dust motes, layer upon layer

Impenetrable by hands alone

Repetition becomes stale vision

Mind and tongue trapped by a residual haunting

Weighted steps, broken stature

Heavy with pain and exhaustion

Hopelessness reigns in the tired lines of eye and mouth

Seeping down the sides of a stolen throne

Forcing you beyond the pale

For you I stand, gritted teeth and clenched fists

Refusing to back down

In the face of this onslaught of resignation

I will stand and cast His breath into you

Blowing fire and ice down every dark hallway

Do you feel the chill at the nape of your neck?

The heat penetrating your breast?

Love has come.

The ancient scales fall away from your eyes

Color flows as lids are lifted and a spark is kindled

Your feet take first steps on a path of new things

Gaining strength with every downward press

You pause, breathe deep, shake your head

Feeling the ends of your black silk

Gently brush your newborn skin.

I see the blood flow anew from every vital place

You lift from the ground soaring skyward

Brushing laughing fingertips against the sun

Not suffering the fate of Icarus

Love has come.

Love Letter

I wrote the following as a meager expression of my feelings for God. It's incredibly difficult to attempt to use something as simplistic as letters strung together to make your heart known. The romance of the Father is life altering, mind blowing, all consuming, breathtaking, vital, beautiful, infinite. Being a fulfilled Christian without understanding and experiencing the romance, the love, of Jesus Christ is impossible. We have to move beyond just the word "Love" and enter into the experience, the reality of it.
"Faithful to the end, He will come and marry me"- oh, the beauty of that phrase. He woos us into the most perfect relationship ever experienced. The union that wrote the book on love.

No Words

I need to tell you

I need, somehow, to express

The depth, the height of what I feel

How do I convey what you’ve done?

How do I confess love to Love?

An adequate outpouring is impossible

If I could breathe color

Sing the wind and dance the sky

Release the deep from my fingertips

Even that would not suffice

Melodies vaporize and

Words melt from my tongue

In the face of your blazing beauty

My trembling hands raise it up

Still, everything is not enough

So, in this moment, my heart beats out

What my mind cannot conjure

A passionate percussion of eternal valentines

My life will, every day, lift up a standard of adoration

Rooftops will echo this refrain of desire

My spirit will walk this path of intimate knowing

Never ceasing to hunger for more

This is my offering, all I have to give

My heart, my will, my love, my life

I am yours.

New Year

2010 has come and gone and we have moved into a new season of life. For myself, I've never been big on new year's resolutions, but this year I am, rather than resolving, simply believing. Believing God for new things!

My awareness of God's goodness has exploded. He has invaded my very being and my life has been forever altered. I became a Christian at a very young age, but I have lived a dead, dry, painful life for over 25 years. My perspective of God and my relationship with him was completely skewed and broken. I spent a lifetime crying out and wondering why God never heard me, never responded. I did everything I was supposed to, church, singing, obligatory bible reading, etc. Isn't that what we as good Christians are supposed to do? I put Him in a lovely religious box, the whole time pretending that I wasn't one of the religious ones. My heart had become a stale, cobweb covered, block of clay.

But, the beauty of clay is that it can be worked. I came to a point where my striving broke me apart and I gave up. Gave up on formulas, and strategies. Gave up on processes and methods. I physically told God I was done- with Him, with the system, with all of it.

Unbeknownst to me, this "giving up" split my world apart. I had FINALLY surrendered! Letting go of the death grip I had had on my own life was all that was needed. Jesus infiltrated my heart, my life and took over completely. I can say, without cheesy motive, I am a new person. My thoughts and ways are no longer my own. He owns me, but there is such beautiful freedom in the ownership. He is my king, my friend, my father, my brother, my heart's passion, my one desire, my everything. I love Him with every fiber of my being.

I wrote the following a few days ago. Transformation is amazing! God is so merciful and gentle and I am learning to recognize His promptings and urgings. He has called me to a place of pure honesty with Him. It's difficult to let go of habits and old mindsets, but it is brutally necessary. He longs to pour into us so we can pour out. Old things must pass away for new life to take residence.

Vessel

I emptied myself today

Of comfort zones and status quos

Of used to it and the way it’s always been

I emptied myself today

Of bitterness and vengeance

Of my way and malcontent

I emptied myself today

Releasing stale breath held too long

Behind lips and under tongue

I emptied myself today

Of acrid recall and dark remembrances

Not to forget but to forgive

I emptied myself today      

Without violence or upheaval

Without force of will, without myself

I emptied myself today

My spirit exhaling, unfolding

Accepting, inhaling new oxygen

I emptied myself today

Seeking and finding something beautiful

Gold pressed from adversity by the hands of love

I emptied myself today

Today I emptied myself

Emptied to overflowing